Happiness Was Never in the Box

Fulfillment, happiness and a sustained sense of good feeling can only come from inside. If you are looking for the news, sporting events, or lottery winnings to give you something to make you happy, you will ultimately be disappointed. You may find a fleeting moment of happiness which soon dies away. The Knicks just won a championship, but do you think all the Knicks fans are still happy a few weeks out. Nah, I don’t think so. And how much and for how long we anticipated this victory, and now, it’s as if it didn’t happen.

I remember, as a kid, all the eager anticipation of opening my Christmas presents. For weeks, I would be excited, and unable to wait for that special moment of opening the presents. The toys that I wanted for months, I hoped would be there waiting for me. But I found, to my great disappointment, year after year, that it all ended in emptiness. It didn’t matter what I got. The presents never made me happy, or at least, not for a sustained amount of time. I might be elated at first, opening the box, and first playing with the new toys, but give it a few hours, and the joy dissipated. It happened every time. Finally, when I became a teenager, I realized that there was no joy in receiving Christmas presents. If I thought that the toys would make me happy, and if they did not, then what can? Can anything?

The presents were only a distraction from what is really important, as is most everything. What’s most important? Paying attention to what is within.

Ah, but some may counter, no, the joy is in giving presents. Isn’t it? We get joy giving things that will not bring happiness to others? Makes no sense, but I think it’s true. I do remember one Easter giving away my Easter candy to the other kids, and from doing this I did get some joy. It is strange that getting rid of stuff made me happy. But yeah, that happiness faded too, but it was much deeper than the joy of receiving candy.

But I do find joy in life, granted it is fleeting. It comes, not from possessing things, but from creating beautiful paintings, killer business proposals and writing great stuff. When I follow a formula, there is no joy. It is only when I honor my spirit, when I listen to the irrational within, succumb to the collective unconscious, that I can become brilliant and shine, at least in my own eyes. Whether anyone else finds my creations to be of value, I do not care. My spirit itself hits a high when I create something good. I know when it is good, and I get really excited.

In the end, the toys, the trophies, the winning lottery tickets—we chase those things thinking they will bring happiness. But they won’t. They distract us for a moment, and then we are left empty once again, looking for the next distraction. I think sustained periods of happiness can exist, but they come from the inside, not from the outside. You can’t get it from your cellphone or streaming video service. You get it from slowing down, listening to yourself, honoring yourself, and creating your own reality around you. It is the act of creating, at least to me, that brings me a more sustained feeling of well-being.